See weaponized incompetence in All languages combined, or Wiktionary
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Is your husband O.K. with you feeling run-down and exploited? Is he O.K. with you thinking of him as a child, rather than a grown man? I’m posing these questions because it’s clear from your letter than you’ve asked your husband for more help repeatedly. The time has come for a reckoning in which you renegotiate the terms of your marriage. I’d strongly recommend that you seek the help of a counselor, who can make sure you’re both saying everything you need to say — and listening to each other.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 538, 561 ], [ 596, 619 ] ], "ref": "2023 March 8, Jamie Murray, “Weaponized incompetence is deeper than a TikTok trend”, in Michigan Daily:", "text": "Acknowledgment of this mindset existed long before any TikTok trend. A Wall Street Journal article dating back to 2007 coined the term “strategic incompetence,” describing it as an “art” and “skill” that can be used in the office for tasks that someone doesn’t want to do. The article suggests that this behavior is ingrained in us at birth. As children, we pretend not to know how to do chores when our parents ask us; as adults, we continue this behavior. Even though the article, in comparison to TikTok, takes a more positive view of weaponized incompetence, the fundamental premise remains. Weaponized incompetence could be considered a universal experience. Plenty of us have experienced the shortfalls of other people’s incompetence. Exhibit A: The sighs and groans that fill a room when a professor brings up a group project. The sadly all-too-common situation is where one group member falls short, and the other members have to work harder to complete the project, only for all the members to receive the same grade.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 881, 904 ] ], "ref": "2023 March 16, Nicole Chung, “My Adult Son Has Mastered the Art of Weaponized Incompetence. How do we get him to do … anything? Dear Care and Feeding column”, in Slate:", "text": "My adult (21 and 23) stepsons are in many ways very similar (funny, thoughtful, helpful, etc.). For nearly their entire lives, though, most of the influential adults around them have practically fallen over themselves to make things “easy” for 23, doing everything in their power to ensure that he is not stressed or inconvenienced in any way. He is smart enough to have realized this along the way and has developed a habit of either dragging his feet until someone makes a decision for him or simply deciding that it is someone else’s job to “remind him” (e.g., do you want to join us on vacation or not? did you finish that paperwork for open enrollment at work so that you can continue to have health insurance?). […] Conversely, and probably as a result of the behaviors he has observed, 21 just gets things done and takes care of his own business. 23 has mastered the art of weaponized incompetence, while 21 would rather chew off his own hand than ask for help.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 0, 23 ] ], "ref": "2023 September 18, Mark Travers, “2 Ways ‘Weaponized Incompetence’ Might Be Hurting Your Relationship”, in Forbes:", "text": "Weaponized incompetence, also known as strategic incompetence, refers to the deliberate feigning of incompetence to avoid certain tasks or responsibilities. This strategy is sometimes used by men in relationships to avoid certain chores, housework or parenting tasks. By continually pretending to be incompetent, they strategically push their partner to stop delegating tasks to them, thus leaving the task up to their partner, creating a disproportionate division of domestic labor. Many people suffering through this ordeal come to therapy feeling like the division of housework or chores between them and their partner isn’t equal. They may say things like: “I want to ask my partner for more help around the house, but I always end up having to explain how to do it or just doing it myself.”", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 328, 351 ] ], "ref": "2025 March 24, Sofia Lodato, quoting Olivia Verhulst, “Have You Given Up Trying? This Is Why, According to a Therapist”, in Oprah Daily:", "text": "Have you ever tried fixing a bad situation—fighting to revive a stale marriage or escape a toxic job—only to hit roadblocks at every turn? Eventually, you become numb to the situation and simply give up. This is learned helplessness: internalizing that you don’t have control in difficult scenarios. […] Not to be confused with weaponized incompetence (when someone uses their supposed lack of skill or understanding to duck out of their responsibilities), learned helplessness is more about quitting when times get tough because your brain is conditioned to think there’s no other way out. […] But just as this is a learned behavior, you can also “unlearn” a feeling of helplessness. […] Because just as you can condition yourself to feel helpless, you can train yourself to feel optimistic, too.", "type": "quote" } ], "glosses": [ "The act or process of performing badly so as to avoid future assignments of a similar kind, whether consciously (as a manipulative tactic) or subconsciously (as a psychological shortcoming)." ], "hypernyms": [ { "word": "incompetence#Noun" } ], "id": "en-weaponized_incompetence-en-noun-en:performing_badly_so_as_to_avoid_future_assignments", "links": [ [ "performing", "perform#Verb" ], [ "badly", "bad#Adjective" ], [ "assignment", "assignment" ], [ "consciously", "conscious#Adjective" ], [ "manipulative", "manipulative#Adjective" ], [ "subconsciously", "subconscious#Adjective" ], [ "shortcoming", "shortcoming#Noun" ] ], "raw_glosses": [ "(idiomatic) The act or process of performing badly so as to avoid future assignments of a similar kind, whether consciously (as a manipulative tactic) or subconsciously (as a psychological shortcoming)." ], "related": [ { "english": "not to be confused", "word": "learned helplessness" } ], "senseid": [ "en:performing badly so as to avoid future assignments" ], "tags": [ "idiomatic", "uncountable" ] } ], "word": "weaponized incompetence" }
{ "head_templates": [ { "args": { "1": "-" }, "expansion": "weaponized incompetence (uncountable)", "name": "en-noun" } ], "lang": "English", "lang_code": "en", "pos": "noun", "related": [ { "english": "not to be confused", "word": "learned helplessness" } ], "senses": [ { "categories": [ "English entries with incorrect language header", "English idioms", "English lemmas", "English multiword terms", "English nouns", "English terms with quotations", "English uncountable nouns", "Pages with 1 entry", "Pages with entries" ], "examples": [ { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 56, 79 ] ], "ref": "2018 May 8, Steve Almond, “Save Me From This Domestic Drudgery! The Sweet Spot column”, in New York Times:", "text": "Trace that logic out a bit, and you arrive at a kind of weaponized incompetence: Your husband isn’t good at certain tasks, so he shouldn’t have to do them. No. He should learn how to do them. Negligence as a domestic partner is unacceptable. Your exhaustion and unhappiness alone should be enough to motivate him. Why isn’t it? Is your husband O.K. with you feeling run-down and exploited? Is he O.K. with you thinking of him as a child, rather than a grown man? I’m posing these questions because it’s clear from your letter than you’ve asked your husband for more help repeatedly. The time has come for a reckoning in which you renegotiate the terms of your marriage. I’d strongly recommend that you seek the help of a counselor, who can make sure you’re both saying everything you need to say — and listening to each other.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 538, 561 ], [ 596, 619 ] ], "ref": "2023 March 8, Jamie Murray, “Weaponized incompetence is deeper than a TikTok trend”, in Michigan Daily:", "text": "Acknowledgment of this mindset existed long before any TikTok trend. A Wall Street Journal article dating back to 2007 coined the term “strategic incompetence,” describing it as an “art” and “skill” that can be used in the office for tasks that someone doesn’t want to do. The article suggests that this behavior is ingrained in us at birth. As children, we pretend not to know how to do chores when our parents ask us; as adults, we continue this behavior. Even though the article, in comparison to TikTok, takes a more positive view of weaponized incompetence, the fundamental premise remains. Weaponized incompetence could be considered a universal experience. Plenty of us have experienced the shortfalls of other people’s incompetence. Exhibit A: The sighs and groans that fill a room when a professor brings up a group project. The sadly all-too-common situation is where one group member falls short, and the other members have to work harder to complete the project, only for all the members to receive the same grade.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 881, 904 ] ], "ref": "2023 March 16, Nicole Chung, “My Adult Son Has Mastered the Art of Weaponized Incompetence. How do we get him to do … anything? Dear Care and Feeding column”, in Slate:", "text": "My adult (21 and 23) stepsons are in many ways very similar (funny, thoughtful, helpful, etc.). For nearly their entire lives, though, most of the influential adults around them have practically fallen over themselves to make things “easy” for 23, doing everything in their power to ensure that he is not stressed or inconvenienced in any way. He is smart enough to have realized this along the way and has developed a habit of either dragging his feet until someone makes a decision for him or simply deciding that it is someone else’s job to “remind him” (e.g., do you want to join us on vacation or not? did you finish that paperwork for open enrollment at work so that you can continue to have health insurance?). […] Conversely, and probably as a result of the behaviors he has observed, 21 just gets things done and takes care of his own business. 23 has mastered the art of weaponized incompetence, while 21 would rather chew off his own hand than ask for help.", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 0, 23 ] ], "ref": "2023 September 18, Mark Travers, “2 Ways ‘Weaponized Incompetence’ Might Be Hurting Your Relationship”, in Forbes:", "text": "Weaponized incompetence, also known as strategic incompetence, refers to the deliberate feigning of incompetence to avoid certain tasks or responsibilities. This strategy is sometimes used by men in relationships to avoid certain chores, housework or parenting tasks. By continually pretending to be incompetent, they strategically push their partner to stop delegating tasks to them, thus leaving the task up to their partner, creating a disproportionate division of domestic labor. Many people suffering through this ordeal come to therapy feeling like the division of housework or chores between them and their partner isn’t equal. They may say things like: “I want to ask my partner for more help around the house, but I always end up having to explain how to do it or just doing it myself.”", "type": "quote" }, { "bold_text_offsets": [ [ 328, 351 ] ], "ref": "2025 March 24, Sofia Lodato, quoting Olivia Verhulst, “Have You Given Up Trying? This Is Why, According to a Therapist”, in Oprah Daily:", "text": "Have you ever tried fixing a bad situation—fighting to revive a stale marriage or escape a toxic job—only to hit roadblocks at every turn? Eventually, you become numb to the situation and simply give up. This is learned helplessness: internalizing that you don’t have control in difficult scenarios. […] Not to be confused with weaponized incompetence (when someone uses their supposed lack of skill or understanding to duck out of their responsibilities), learned helplessness is more about quitting when times get tough because your brain is conditioned to think there’s no other way out. […] But just as this is a learned behavior, you can also “unlearn” a feeling of helplessness. […] Because just as you can condition yourself to feel helpless, you can train yourself to feel optimistic, too.", "type": "quote" } ], "glosses": [ "The act or process of performing badly so as to avoid future assignments of a similar kind, whether consciously (as a manipulative tactic) or subconsciously (as a psychological shortcoming)." ], "hypernyms": [ { "word": "incompetence#Noun" } ], "links": [ [ "performing", "perform#Verb" ], [ "badly", "bad#Adjective" ], [ "assignment", "assignment" ], [ "consciously", "conscious#Adjective" ], [ "manipulative", "manipulative#Adjective" ], [ "subconsciously", "subconscious#Adjective" ], [ "shortcoming", "shortcoming#Noun" ] ], "raw_glosses": [ "(idiomatic) The act or process of performing badly so as to avoid future assignments of a similar kind, whether consciously (as a manipulative tactic) or subconsciously (as a psychological shortcoming)." ], "senseid": [ "en:performing badly so as to avoid future assignments" ], "tags": [ "idiomatic", "uncountable" ] } ], "word": "weaponized incompetence" }
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This page is a part of the kaikki.org machine-readable English dictionary. This dictionary is based on structured data extracted on 2025-07-20 from the enwiktionary dump dated 2025-07-01 using wiktextract (45c4a21 and f1c2b61). The data shown on this site has been post-processed and various details (e.g., extra categories) removed, some information disambiguated, and additional data merged from other sources. See the raw data download page for the unprocessed wiktextract data.
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