"self-despair" meaning in English

{
  "etymology_templates": [
    {
      "args": {
        "1": "en",
        "2": "self",
        "3": "despair"
      },
      "expansion": "self- + despair",
      "name": "prefix"
    }
  ],
  "etymology_text": "From self- + despair.",
  "head_templates": [
    {
      "args": {
        "1": "-"
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      "expansion": "self-despair (uncountable)",
      "name": "en-noun"
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  "lang": "English",
  "lang_code": "en",
  "pos": "noun",
  "senses": [
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          "kind": "other",
          "name": "English entries with incorrect language header",
          "parents": [
            "Entries with incorrect language header",
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          "source": "w"
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          "kind": "other",
          "name": "English terms prefixed with self-",
          "parents": [],
          "source": "w"
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      ],
      "examples": [
        {
          "ref": "1872, George Eliot, Middlemarch, Prelude",
          "text": "Her flame […] soared after some illimitable satisfaction, which would reconcile self-despair with the rapturous consciousness of life beyond self."
        },
        {
          "ref": "2007, Alexander Theroux, chapter 45, in Laura Warholic",
          "text": "Tripping herself up with sadder and more and more neurotic acts of self-despair.",
          "type": "quotation"
        }
      ],
      "glosses": [
        "Despair about oneself or one's own actions or behaviour."
      ],
      "id": "en-self-despair-en-noun-KcjqbpQl",
      "links": [
        [
          "Despair",
          "despair"
        ]
      ],
      "tags": [
        "uncountable"
      ]
    }
  ],
  "word": "self-despair"
}

{
  "etymology_templates": [
    {
      "args": {
        "1": "en",
        "2": "self",
        "3": "despair"
      },
      "expansion": "self- + despair",
      "name": "prefix"
    }
  ],
  "etymology_text": "From self- + despair.",
  "head_templates": [
    {
      "args": {
        "1": "-"
      },
      "expansion": "self-despair (uncountable)",
      "name": "en-noun"
    }
  ],
  "lang": "English",
  "lang_code": "en",
  "pos": "noun",
  "senses": [
    {
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        "English entries with incorrect language header",
        "English lemmas",
        "English multiword terms",
        "English nouns",
        "English terms prefixed with self-",
        "English terms with quotations",
        "English uncountable nouns",
        "Quotation templates to be cleaned"
      ],
      "examples": [
        {
          "ref": "1872, George Eliot, Middlemarch, Prelude",
          "text": "Her flame […] soared after some illimitable satisfaction, which would reconcile self-despair with the rapturous consciousness of life beyond self."
        },
        {
          "ref": "2007, Alexander Theroux, chapter 45, in Laura Warholic",
          "text": "Tripping herself up with sadder and more and more neurotic acts of self-despair.",
          "type": "quotation"
        }
      ],
      "glosses": [
        "Despair about oneself or one's own actions or behaviour."
      ],
      "links": [
        [
          "Despair",
          "despair"
        ]
      ],
      "tags": [
        "uncountable"
      ]
    }
  ],
  "word": "self-despair"
}