butt monkey

1993 May 18, Martin J Hannigan, "I LIKE YOUR NEW ORGANIZATION BUNG BOY", talk.bizarre, Usenet
I still prefer Butt Monkey User Group myself.

1993 July 8-9, "Insecure faggots.": "Butt monkeys", alt.sex, Usenet
"ad980": the autopsy has concluded that indeed, the monkey did have a banana shoved up his butt
Kevin Walsh: All this talk about butt monkeys makes me wonder if you see yourself as the organ grinder.
"ad980": Oddly enough, the butt monkey in question is you.

1994, Mike Judge, Beavis and Butt-Head
Beavis: Butt-munch / Monkey Spank / Dillweed / Turd wipe / Dumbass / Butt Monkey
Butt-Head: Chode / Waste of Bum Wipe / Dillhole / Fartknocker / Dumb Beavis / Butt-Head, no wait

You have my promise that everything in our power will be done to catch this psycho butt monkey, but...I just don’t think you could distance yourself from this level of personal involvement.

2000 October 13, Edward Hancock II, Splintered Souls, Xlibris Corporation, page 90:

Uh-oh, Butt Monkey alert

2001 March, “The Butt Monkey”, in Adopt-A-Pet of Victoria, Texas:

2002 May 9, "i [sic.] know theres no great plan here...", Meagan's Journal http://dreamstarblue.livejournal.com/30128.html
eric decided to be a butt monkey and start shit about cory.

Butt Monkey, you didn't tell congress [sic.] you were going to spy on everyone.

2006 January 29, “Achtung! Where are your papers?”, in Picks Commentary:

2006 April 19, 'And let the Church say, "AMEN!"', Defiance http://laurielou2.blogspot.com/2006/04/and-let-church-say-amen.html
I was pontificating on the ecstasy of the prospect of not having to listen to the butt monkey fumble and stammer through another round of explanation for the unexplainable.

Some bloody butt-monkey rear-ends me.

2006 May 15, Fan-Bloody-Tastic, Insanity Reigns Supreme http://rider.net.nz/modules/wordpress/?author=1

(Canada, US, slang, often humorous) An annoying and irksome person.


fuck-knuckle

That little fuck-knuckle is into me for eighteen dimes, plus interest

1986 June 12, Richard Martins, The Cinch, Random House Publishing Group, page 95:

Typical septic. Can't understand why the rest of the world thinks he's a fuck-knuckle.

1998 April 21, Justin Downey, “Re: rachel is awful cute!”, alt.nuke.the.USA, aus.flame.usa, and alt.flame

“Cool your jets, fuck-knuckle. I've been getting an anus beating all day and I'm preparing for a federal raping tomorrow because of you two freaks...”

2002 January, Michael Cordoni, Peaches & Snitches: A Novel, Writers Club Press, page 136:

‘Right fuck-knuckle, get into those dixies over there,’ ordered the crazy-eyed shit posing as a cook, but more closely resembling a human hog.

2002 April, Terry O’Farrell, Behind Enemy Lines: An Australian SAS soldier in Vietnam (Allen & Unwin Proprietary), page 12

(vulgar, slang, humorous, UK, Ireland, Commonwealth) Term of abuse.


assmonkey

Near-synonym: assclown

"Look," said Mayer, suddenly nervous, "there's no sense in acting like complete ass monkeys over this. I'm sure we can reach a mutually beneficial settlement."

2000, Martin DiPietro, “The Pull”, in Nest: 28 Tales of Pulp Fiction, →ISBN, page 72:

“You little assmonkey!” The kid danced away to the front of the car.

2002, Brian Rockstroh, Far From Grace, →ISBN, page 10:

"God, love," I said, "Annnnnd ... trampolines!" ¶ "You are such an assmonkey."

2004, Stacey Cochran, The Band, →ISBN, page 188:

(Canada, US, slang, derogatory, often humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person; a jerk.


scuzzbucket

(slang, often humorous) Synonym of scuzz: An unpleasant or repulsive person.


scumbucket

Why would you waste any time defending a scumbucket like him?

(slang, derogatory) A sleazy, disreputable or despicable person; a lowlife.


cuntbiscuit

(vulgar, slang, humorous) A stupid or mean person.


shitburger

McDonald's has sold over a billion shitburgers; the shops along Fisherman's Wharf have sold hundreds of thousands of foot-shaped ashtrays...

1982, Margaret Mitchell Dukore, A novel called heritage, page 216:

Waiting tables is still a pain in the ass, but it's a damned sight better than dishing out shitburgers, let me tell you.

1987, Glenn Savan, White Palace, page 364:

(slang, vulgar, often humorous) An inferior hamburger.


twatwaffle

This twatwaffle has been whining about the rain forest for years. I visited the rain forest, and guess what? Still rainy.

2007, John Hargrave, Prank the Monkey: The Zug Book of Pranks, page 125:

Which goes to show that bigoted twatwaffles might be everywhere, but so were good people.

2018, Nicola M. Cameron, To My Muse, unnumbered page:

“Why am I surrounded by twatwaffles? I mean, what have I ever done to piss you off so much that these people give me grief? Huh?”

2020, Samantha A. Cole, Knot a Chance: Doms of the Covenant Book 3, unnumbered page:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) A contemptible person.


fucknugget

CINEMA SCOPE New in cinemas this week you'll probably find: "Fucknugget the Famous Clown" *** (G). Fucknugget breaks from his unopinionated dumb-yuk stereotype, and does some frighteningly deep social caricature — a first for this type of work! In the film, Fucknugget, as himself, opens a car wash, but is forced to substitute semen for soap.

1990, The Gargoyle, Ann Arbor, MI: University of Michigan, retrieved 2017-03-05:

Oh no! Not a shithead! What's next fucknugget? You two are mature! Try being more creative next time.

1994 January 15, THE MAGIC DRAGON, “Re: Amerikan food.”, in alt.flame (Usenet), retrieved 2017-03-05, message-ID <CJo66p.6qB@sunfish.usd.edu>:

What the fuck is wrong with you duche bag motherfuckerassmunching twat head that was lucky enough to get my name as their tss victim? Did you sign up just to get a fucking gift or did you actually intend to reciprocate. Fucknugget this is a warning, TSS is a cool thing when we all participate but when one snodler like yourself fucks up and dosen't participate somebody gets understandibly harshed out.

1995 January 3, Christopher H. Newnan, “TSS”, in alt.tasteless (Usenet), retrieved 2017-03-05, message-ID <3ecd72$i58@noc.usfca.edu>:

Sorry that you've had bad experience with some fucknugget therapist.

2002, Regina Polak, Megatrend Religion?: Neue Religiositäten in Europa, Schwabenverlag, →ISBN, page 210:

Now the fucknugget tells me he'll give it back. Thinks he can return a bribe like a pair of pants that don't fit.

2006, Paul Levine, The Deep Blue Alibi, Random House, →ISBN, page 406:

When I was a kid, before I copped that he was a world-class fucknugget, he was the smartest man in the world; he knew everything about everything, he could beat up the Hulk with one hand while he bicep-curled grand pianos with the other, a grin from him lit up your whole day.

2010, Tana French, Faithful Place, Penguin, →ISBN, page 262:


nutburger

Shitgibbon compound of nut (“crazy person”) + burger.

shitgibbon

"She's a nutburger. She tracked me down at my job —"

2005, Joshilyn Jackson, Gods in Alabama, Grand Central Publishing, published 2007, →ISBN, page 191:

(slang, often humorous) A person considered crazy or eccentric.


douchecanoe

Not being a complete douchecanoe is the first step in being your own ideal romance hero or heroine—and it's absolutely an attainable ideal.

2011, Sarah Wendell, Everything I Know about Love I Learned from Romance Novels, Sourcebooks Casablanca, published 2011, →ISBN:

Never brag. It's good to have a healthy pride in your [man] cave. It's not good to be a douchecanoe about it.

2011, Jeff Wilser, Michael H. Yost, The Man Cave Book, HarperCollins, published 2011, →ISBN:

[…] No, Collin didn't relay the message—he was too busy signing us up for coaching duty. Why? Because that other guy was a douchecanoe. […]

2013, Amy Lane, Forever Promised, Dreamspinner Press, published 2013, →ISBN:

(vulgar, slang, humorous) A rude, obnoxious, or contemptible person.


douche-canoe

[…] this flaming douche-canoe totally stepped up and did the honorable thing, which in this case meant taking the day-old infant out into the woods and leaving her there to die a miserable, lonely death from exposure and starvation.

2011, Ben Thompson, Badass: The Birth of a Legend: Spine-Crushing Tales of the Most Merciless Gods, Monsters, Heroes, Villains, and Mythical Creatures Ever Envisioned, Harper, →ISBN, page 98:

Which meant she'd sound like a gigantic douche-canoe if she asked him if he had any, like, psychic powers or whatever.

2012, Megan Hart, Reawakened Passions, Harlequin, →ISBN:

Yes, some girls could be complete douche-canoes, but so could some guys (and even some babies, apparently), and I was slowly losing a prejudice that I hadn't even realized was holding me back.

2012, Jenny Lawson, Let's Pretend This Never Happened: (A Mostly True Memoir), Berkley, →ISBN:


douche canoe

Douche Canoe The worst kind of douche imaginable. This phrase originating in the small college town of Hanover, NH and has spread like wildfire due mostly to its fluid phonetics. 1. Is that douche canoe popping triple collars? 2. Yeah, that douche canoe bragged about blacking out last night when he'd only had 2 beers. 3. I fucking hate those douche canoes. #douchecanoe #douche-canoe #douche #tool #douchebag #canoe

2006 September 24, Stigmata., “Urban Dictionary: Douche Canoe”, in Urban Dictionary, archived from the original on 2009-01-09:

Because he's a total douche canoe who only wants what he can't have.

2011, Beth Harbison, Always Something There to Remind Me, St. Martin's Press, published 2011, →ISBN, page 103:

“He is a douche canoe. But he gets great PR with the mortals. They think he's their protector, some kind of hero, but he really should be sent out to sea and set on fire in a proper Viking burial.”

2011, Kevin Hearne, Hammered, Del Rey, published 2011, →ISBN, page 115:

There was a beeping sound, and then Ivy announced, “Brent's a douche canoe. I'll punch him in the teeth for you, if you want.”

2013, Alison Cherry, Red, Delacorte Press, published 2013, →ISBN:


douchewagon

Polls don't equate truth. Keep flexing that big muscle in your head, douchewagon.

2002 January 2, Mike Sorrow, “Re: [RSPW RUMBLE] Day 1”, in rec.sport.pro-wrestling (Usenet):

Have you ever hit your head (or any other experience that may explain to us why you act like a total douchewagon)?

2007 February 10, kAPTAIN kAOS [username], “Re: so fucker,”, in alt.dbs.echostar.hack (Usenet):

Harper is a douchewagon

2007 December 9, Choam Nomsky [username], “TESTING”, in mtl.general (Usenet):


shitbucket

It's not even a real bus stop, just a gas station where the bus drops off whoever's stupid enough to come to this shitbucket town and picks up whoever's smart enough to leave.

2010, Jeff Garigliano, Dogface, MP Publishing, →ISBN, page 184:

He was under the streetlight by then, next to my shitbucket Volkswagen.

2013, D. Seth Horton, Brett Garcia Myhren, Road to Nowhere and Other New Stories from the Southwest:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) Synonym of shitpot (in all senses).


turdbucket

You are a pathetic liar and a fantasy-driven turdbucket.

2000 June 17, Benjamin Malone, “Re: And now . . . the end is near . . .”, in alt.music.jethro-tull (Usenet):

Stay out of the adult conversations you can't follow, turdbucket.

2007 October 8, Daedalus [username], “Re: About the Vogue photoshoot: Bruce Weber background info”, in alt.music.michael-jackson (Usenet):

i just thought i'd mention that cujo is a flame-warring turdbucket who likes to overtake groups with his loser pals.

2007 December 19, Jade hasn't said anything about this nym yet […], “Re: Pamela Gross,The Lupus Advocate”, in alt.astrology (Usenet):

(slang, humorous, vulgar) A rude, obnoxious, or contemptible person.


doucheburger

LL-Q1860 (eng)-Flame, not lame-doucheburger.wav

Amid the snorts of high-pitched laughter, Toenail sneered, "Of course you did. 'Cuz doucheburgers like you and bips like her are such a natural fit."

2009, Jonathan Bernstein, Hottie, Razorbill, →ISBN, page 17:

“We're not in class, doucheburger. I'm not a mister any more than you are.”

2013, Sean Beaudoin, Wise Young Fool, Little, Brown and Company, →ISBN:

Or did your date just turn out to be a name-dropping doucheburger who was only interested in your Paramount season tickets—as usual?

2013, Adrian Ryan, "The Homosexual Agenda", The Stranger, Volume 22, Number 24, 13 February 2013 - 19 February 2013, page 57


fuckbucket

Frank, the utter fuckbucket, dumped me in an interview room ('We'll have someone with you in a minute, Miss Madison') and left me there for two hours.

2008, Tana French, The Likeness, unnumbered page:

"Behave yourself, fuckbucket," he told him, "or I'll poke your weenie down the coffee grinder."

2012, Roger F. Kennedy, City of Light, page 111:

“Some fuckbucket must've gotten the address wrong.”

2022, Diana Urban, These Deadly Games, unnumbered page:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) A worthless or objectionable person or thing.


shitweasel

What's the different^([sic]), shitweasel? Hacking is illegal and mean. Having an excellent or screwy player show up is much different than someone using a hack. Again, I will say, if you're too stupid to make that distinction, you should probably post on a group where you have the background to understand the topic. (Let the great Spirit of Alt guide you.)

1993 December 2, Russell Mast, “Re: Have to laff (was Re: im famous!! im famous!!)”, in alt.netgames.bolo (Usenet), retrieved 2017-03-05, message-ID <MASTRD-021293145251@129.59.17.179>:

I have received both. People like Deck, Mingo, Lars, Richard Montari, and others have been gracious, patient, and helpful. I have learned much from them. But, damn it is a rough crowd here. There are a wole^([sic]) helluva lot of shitweasels here that thrive on being small.

1995 August 29, Michael L. Gastin, “Re: LOCKING HORNS WITH A RUDE WRITER”, in misc.writing (Usenet), retrieved 2017-03-05, message-ID <41us7a$jj0_002@uovs.ac.za>:

You know, Louis, the only time I see messages from James any more is when someone who hasn't implemented killfiling (mostly you) responds to him. Once you get killfiles working then you too can be freed from the tyranny of our little shitweasel.

1997 April 5, William Addams Reitwiesner, “Re: The British Nobility and their Taxes”, in alt.talk.royalty (Usenet), retrieved 2017-03-05, message-ID <3345a55e.2143448@news.erols.com>:

(vulgar, slang, humorous) A deceitful and contemptible person.


shitnugget

If you weren't a beligerent^([sic]) little shitnugget and thought before you posted, maybe this wouldn't happen.

1995 January 13, Robert Garcia, “Re: A simple suggestion...”, in rec.games.bolo (Usenet):

This was a **SPOILER** in any country, shitnugget.

2008 March 15, crackhead007 [username], “Re: AaRON IS NOT AN O6!! GODDAMNIT!!!”, in alt.tv.lost (Usenet):

We're only having anther fucking sale for you ungrateful shitnuggets.

2010, satirical advertisement, Honi Soit (University of Sydney), Semester 2, Week 12, 20 October 2010, page 22

(slang, vulgar, derogatory) A rude, obnoxious, or contemptible person.


shitpuddle

Beating up on shitpuddles like you is comparable to a basic food group in alt.peeves, and you're just a name at the end of the list.

1998 January 17, Notorious P.I.G. [username], “Re: Vinnie's Birthday”, in alt.peeves (Usenet):

If you would stop trying to tell people who they can reply to and what they can talk about in an unmoderated newsgroup, you probably wouldn't *have* troll problems, you illiterate, repetitive shitpuddle.

1999 April 15, Flaagg [username], “Re: cuban's ONE irritating trait”, in alt.flame (Usenet):

I would've thought they'd at least give you a replacement for that walking shitpuddle you call a wife.

2015, Ian Tregillis, The Mechanical, Orbit, →ISBN:


asswagon

Just last week some asswagon almost died trying to fight me off his tower.

(humorous, slang, vulgar) A term of abuse.


dickweasel

The moral to the story being: Mr. Binks was a cheating dickweasel, but, you know, marriage is compromise

2012, Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl, Broadway Book, published 2014, →ISBN, page 120:

He's a crazy bastard and a complete dickweasel, but not a moron.

2012, Dianne Sylvan, Shadow's Fall, Ace Books, →ISBN:

"Busy." Marinating in her disgust for a certain smooth-talking dickweasel.

2015, Kate Meader, Playing with Fire, Pocket Books, →ISBN:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) A rude, obnoxious, or contemptible person.


shitgoblin

OK, NOW, THE ONLY THING THAT'S GOING TO GO DOWN DUE TO DEMAND IS THIS SHITGOBLIN'S FACE IN THE CEMENT!

2000 March 11, CLF93 [username], “Re: **NEW VERSION** MindBender v1.2 4434”, in alt.horror.cthulu (Usenet):

Try to talk about hacking, ShitGobliN.

2000 June 6, Seig Hailie Selassie [username], “Re: ahm - I Smell Frying Haxor Butts”, in alt.hackers.malicious (Usenet):

Gee shitgoblin, what day did YOU receive your notice to report?

2005 April 17, Venger [username], “Re: Iraq Inching Closer to Civil War”, in alt.sports.football.pro.dallas-cowboys (Usenet):


cockwomble

en-noun

cockwomble (countable and uncountable, plural cockwombles)

Cockwomble An American lad was annoying the tits off me once so I called him the first thing that came to mind, which was 'cockwomble'. The insult was effective because he did stop winding me up but only to ask me what a cockwomble actually was. I then had to give a detailed explanation about what wombles were and admit that I hadn't really thought that insult through.

2007 October 4, gypsy turnips, “Home » Question of the Week » Insults”, in b3ta.com, archived from the original on 3333-10-10:

They even made the mistaken assumption, mainly from the title, that the song had some kind of lesbian message. As Heike put it: 'You can't expect the subliterate cockwombles on the Daily Heil showbiz and gossip desks to have read Orwell.'

2015, Chris Brookmyre, Dead Girl Walking:

Though the clinic alleges that they are devoted to "service to the community", this little cockwomble allowed his bruised arrogance to bother a woman infinitely superior to him just because she was smarter and better than he.

2019, Jennifer S. Chesler, David C. McLean, The Philosophy of Extremism, volume III, page 40:

(UK, Ireland, slang, humorous) A foolish or obnoxious person.


fuckweasel

(vulgar, slang, humorous) Term of abuse.


wankpuffin

“So stop being a wankpuffin and help me find the mines.”

2018, David Wood, Solomon Key, unnumbered page:

'He's an utter wankpuffin, Sloane. A twatbadger, a cockwomble, a dickbiscuit. He is a miserable piece of knobcheese and I hope he spends the rest of his life regretting what he did to you. […]

2020, Sophie Ranald, No, We Can't Be Friends, unnumbered page:

Don't leave me with this wankpuffin.

2022, Kristen Bailey, Am I Allergic to Men?, unnumbered page:

(UK, slang, vulgar, derogatory) A contemptible person.


cockweasel

(derogatory, slang, humorous) A term of abuse.


slutwaffle

Ow bitch! Slutwaffle!

2008 April 25, “SLUT WAFFLE”, in YouTube, archived from the original on 2017-03-05:

@charleshooper this is a hard drive. now i'm going to spit in your eye because you are a dirty slutwaffle.

2008 November 1, Brittany Turcotte, “Brittany Turcotte on Twitter”, in Twitter, archived from the original on 2017-03-05:

(slang, derogatory, vulgar) A contemptible person.


fuckwaffle

“Oy, you're gonna break the eggs, ya fuckwaffle,” he said, elbowing me out of the way.

2018, Roan Parrish, Riven, unnumbered page:

“Sir, I understand the posters are a bunch of inbred fuckwaffles, but I thought even they upheld the policy of no nukes,” said Fulcrum.

2018, R. Grayson Brice, The Wrenchtown Architects, Volume 1, page 93:

Damn, I hated him.
"Fuckwaffle," I said under my breath.

2019, Laurelin Paige, Dirty Beginnings, unnumbered page:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) An annoying or contemptible person.


cuntwaffle

“Look, cuntwaffle—” Phee had much too broad vocabulary.

2017, Celia Kyle, Hungry for the Alpha, unnumbered page:

She was a cuntwaffle who came after my man. She deserved what she got.

2019, Piper Davenport, Keeping the Biker's Oath, unnumbered page:

Those utter bollocking fucktwizzling cuntwaffles.

2020, Elise Noble, When the Shadows Fall, unnumbered page:


jizztrumpet

After years of running nightclubs and concert venues from which he robbed bands, comedians, waitstaff, and bouncers blind—after not paying taxes on barrels full of other people's cash—this jizztrumpet was living the life in a nice beach house full of bad vibes and high-end escort chicks.

2017, Denis Leary, Why We Don't Suck: And How All of Us Need to Stop Being Such Partisan Little Bitches, unnumbered page:

Tell her how much of a twatfaced jizztrumpet she is.

2018, Vanessa Stefaniuk, Radio Silence: Volume 1, unnumbered page:

“What if Markus O'Shea turns out to be none better than that orange jizztrumpet south of the border?”

2021, Samuel Martin, When the Dead Are Razed, unnumbered page:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person.


fucktrumpet

LL-Q1860 (eng)-Flame, not lame-fucktrumpet.wav

“I don't have time for dates, and when I do, the guy usually ends up being a giant fucktrumpet.”

2014, Mary Frame, Imperfectly Criminal, unnumbered page:

There is enough going on in life without some fucktrumpet trying to belittle you.

2015, Aaron Gillies, Life-abet: An A to Z of Existence, page 141:

'Why would you invite that fucktrumpet? He dumped your daughter at the altar. You should hate him like the rest of us – it's the family rule.'

2020, Aimee Brown, Love Me Like You Do, unnumbered page:


cuntmuffin

"Only because you outnumbered him. You wouldn't last in a fair fight, you cuntmuffin."

2018, Christine Besze, Badcock Tour 2: A Coxsister Cruise, unnumbered page:

"Ow!" May shrieks. "You...cuntmuffin!"

2018, Sarina Brown, Speakeasy, unnumbered page:

Fuck. I'm a complete cuntmuffin. And I have some explaining to do.

2018, Amali Rose, Boss Me, unnumbered page:


dickbiscuit

Oh, fuck off, dickbiscuit.

2017, Kate Meader, Irresistible You, page 378:

I'm not saying Charlie struts around the place cursing or answering questions like, 'What would you like for lunch?' with a casual, 'Fish fingers and bastard beans, you fucking dickbiscuit.'

2019, Matt Coyne, Man vs. Toddler: The Trials and Triumphs of Toddlerdom, unnumbered page:

'He's an utter wankpuffin, Sloane. A twatbadger, a cockwomble, a dickbiscuit. He is a miserable piece of knobcheese and I hope he spends the rest of his life regretting what he did to you. […]

2020, Sophie Ranald, No, We Can't Be Friends, unnumbered page:


cockwaffle

"Cockwaffle!" she shouted as her hand went to her face. The cut wasn't deep, but if she hadn't moved, she would have become the punch line of a Homestar Runner joke.

2014, Michael R. Underwood, Attack the Geek, unnumbered page:

Cockwaffle. Of all the amazing charities I could have said, why the fuck did I make one up. About squirrels.

2015, Kirsty Greenwood, The Vintage Guide to Love and Romance, page 297:

She'd forgotten what Nikala had said about Cian turning the dead bodies to dust in this very warehouse. Cockwaffle. “I'm sorry. That was insensitive of me.”

2020, Tameri Etherton, Fatal Legacy, unnumbered page:

(slang, vulgar) An expression of shock, frustration, worry, etc.


turdmuffin

yoo turdmuffin! thats' a damn URL, not all the cool and fluffy zany wacky peppy madcap insanity and thunderously ebulant and frolicsome festivity you PROMISED in yer DAMN LYIN' ASS SUBJECT HEADER!

1997 January 12, ICEKNIFE, “madman heretics rewrite the entire history of earth”, in alt.art.virtual-beret (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-14:

That's what dickless little turd muffins say when it's clear that they have lost the argument.......it's VERY clear since abortion is legal and destined to remain so.

2003 July 30, Mizzyandrea, “What Unborn Children Look Like”, in alt.abortion (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-14:

You could also add that seat belts, baby seats, and helmets are worthless if you're a totally incompetent turdmuffin that is a danger to yourself and others.

2004 July 19, Demetrius XXIV and the Gladiatores, “Plastic wrap injures motorcyclist”, in rec.motorcycles (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-14:

Is that someone else you are stalking, turdmuffin?

2005 December 6, Daedalus, “Kimberly Barnard - Coward of the County Re: Re posted so AUK gets it. BASTARDS”, in alt.snuh (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-14:

The trick was going to be getting that little turdmuffin Orion to do what we asked.

2021, T.K. Eldridge, Sid & Sin Collection - Book Two:


spunktrumpet

> So why did you buy a GS500, Twatty?
'cos he's a spunktrumpet :)

2009 July 12, Nige, “Changes”, in uk.rec.motorcycles (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-14:

As many pointed out to him in replies, there is presently a relationship in place! Some of the insults:
...you are one confused bag of mince.
...you boil-in-the-bag rent-a-clown.
...YOU ARSE-CHEEKED BOLLOCK-WAGON
...you incompetent ventriloquist-dummy-faced spunktrumpet
...you reprehensible spam faced tool bag!
...you back stabbing cockwomble!
...You're an absolute wankcrumpet
...you haunted pork mannequin.
...you plonker.
...mate you're a pie
...You gigantic plumb
...Every now and then there is a mix up during circumcisions and they keep the wrong f---ing bit!

2016 July 5, Mack A. Damia, “Brexit Fallout”, in alt.usage.english (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-16:

>Douchebag!
Spunktrumpet!
This is fun. How's the duck pond?

2019 August 19, GovShill, “[It's Official!] The Right Wing Experiment Has Failed America”, in aus.politics (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-16:

On 4/6/2020 5:42 PM, Sygmund_F aka FUCKTARD, aka Lying Gerry Binder, aka Sigmund Froyd, aka Walt_M, aka Nurse Ratched, aka waltmitty, aka N=N+1, aka The Joker, aka Foghorn, aka Hurty McButt-Hurt, aka La Cockroach, aka Putin's Bitch, aka Chicken Little, aka Nutsack Ratfuck aka Suckman_Fucktard a communist lying blowhard troll, welfare fraudster fucknut, terrorist sympathizing, dole-bludging, anal retentive limpdick, race-baiting, Net Cop Spider, Wanker Spider, Humourless Git Spider, Control Freak Spider, racist anarchist, cry-bully, village idiot, ass-licking, sperm guzzling, cock snogging, scrotum sucking, bum banging, pig fucking, Fritz admiring, animal fondling, wank cloth, spunk trumpet, thunder cunt, waste-of-rations, spunk bubble horrenda-cunt, terrorist-supporting, spittle-flecked, mean-spirited, bigoted freak, social justice glitter-warrior, fucknugget card carrying member of the Aussie Nazi Party with a GOD complex whined:

2020 April 7, Gerrys Worst Nightmare, “OT - Tinker, Tailor, Mobster, Trump”, in alt.games.microsoft.flight-sim (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-16:

I wonder what names Henderson was called at school. He must have went^([sic]) to some real shithole to learn to behave the way he does. Unless of course he was educated at home, then it all makes sense, he will have gone through full idiot training and came through as a fully fledged spunktrumpet.

2020 May 6, max.it, “All bets are off”, in uk.sport.cricket (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-16:

(slang, vulgar, derogatory, UK, Ireland, humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person.


fucknozzle

Shitgibbon compound of fuck + nozzle. Popularized by the Usenet newsgroup alt.fucknozzles.

No counterargument needed. I already showed that you fucknozzles aren't worth shit in the competition. Sorry you have such sour grapes and bitter w(h)ine.

1998 June 9, R A I D E R, “We love Louis - no, really!”, in alt.fan.elite (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

> What exactly is a fucknozzle?
It's his new name! I hereby decree that this fucknozzle be addressed as 'Fucknozzle' everytime^([sic]) he posts on AA.

2002 March 5, Cujo, “THE VINDICTIVE, DISHONEST RICHARD NOLLE”, in alt.astrology (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

Listen to this all you fucknozzles - BUNDY
http://www.soundclick.com/bands/0/zananakeyholesmusic.htm
comments welcomed

2003 May 20, Jon Murdock, “Zep Fucknozzles - UNITE”, in rec.music.makers.guitar (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

Maybe you missed that even the folks in news admin have recognized you fucknozzles for what you ARE. The more you people froth - the more people will catch ON to what you pathetic little cretins are ALL about. Sadly DEFICIENT little boys PLAYING at being men!

2005 August 29, krp, “Re: History of soc.men”, in alt.fucknozzles (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

Hey, I havent gotten into a real flamewar for almost 4 years. Havent called anyone a fucknozzle for 5 years. That's gotta count for something!

2006 August 13, VK, “Dive Instructors - Open Letter”, in rec.scuba (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

My cat ate one of those rubber bands you fucknozzles are always dropping on my sidewalk. The vet charges were $240. Which one of you numbnutzs gets the bill?

2011 February 17, Notroll2012, “Vet bill”, in alt.snail-mail (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

After a year of sending you through the bowels of Usenet, I'm glad to see you've finally learned how to use it, even if you are typically too stupid to check it before replying, you cock-snorting fucknozzle!

2011 October 8, <]v[et@phoid.comp >, “Re: FYI Thomas J. Giarmo”, in sci.med.cardiology (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

You really can't come to grips with the reality that people are all coming to the realization independently that you and your little crew are fucknozzles. You also can't handle that we deal with you as individuals and don't have a central authority (other than common sense)guiding us. Must be a real bitch for you to be a wannabe super netcop-netnanny and no hope in hell of accomplishing it.

2014 September 21, Mr.Smartypants Royal Order Of The DoW #4, “Why is Ron Jealous of people with an Education?”, in edm.general (Usenet), retrieved 2022-06-15:

(slang, vulgar, derogatory, offensive) An obnoxious or contemptible person.


shitmuffin

Listen, boyo! Why are you here? If you're not a fan (did you read the NAME of this newsgroup, shitmuffin?) then what you think has NO BEARING here. Go away and read whatever pathetic little novels you like instead of being a pisser. Okay? Clear?
Gratsi!

1997 November 26, heather, “A little idea”, in alt.fan.piers-anthony (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-12:

Look shitmuffin, I've dismantled your "points" one by one.

2001 May 6, Venger, “Juwan Howard did not mean to do that”, in alt.sports.basketball.nba.dallas-mavs (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-12:

Some people are just real shitmuffins and would be that way even if they weren't celebrities. The fame, money and worship they receive on a daily basis just serves to puff up and already bloated ego.

2003 May 7, CassieIJ, “Celebrity Atitude”, in alt.gossip.celebrities (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-12:

(colloquial, vulgar, humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person.


shitbiscuit

> :: You should just kill-file drsquare aka K.S. There's nothing new that you can say to the idiot.
> :
> : True. But someone should spank the miscreant children.
>
> You fucking pervert; but if you mean us, when are you gonna start, you linuxfuckwitted excuse of a cunt?
Right now, shitbiscuit.

2003 August 1, GreyCloud, “XP Pro config my Modem wrong...”, in alt.os.windows-xp (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-20:

I am over it you disgusting little shitbiscuit.

2005 April 29, Bobs, “Spencer ---> Nothampton.”, in rec.sport.rugby.union (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-20:

Go take your pills, schizo shitbiscuit.

2020 December 6, thechad@secmail.pro, “Are any of you dimwit far-right shitstains getting over it yet?”, in rec.sport.pro-wrestling (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-20:


cockmonkey

[10-4]Sven (Fraudulent death-faking cockmonkey)
the man, the myth, the legend (in my own toilet time)
http://needbackup.net/sven.asf - My Video

2001 September 20, Sven, “Honestly”, in alt.games.half-life.counterstrike (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-21:

Wow! How much of a fanboy are you, you little cockmonkey?

2003 June 9, Sam Jones, “BCMG - impressions?”, in comp.sys.ibm.pc.games.space-sim (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-21:

for a chance I am not gril like, I don't want to be girl like. cause I am not going to give those cockmonkeys what they want, NO, I am not going to give in and make friends with them again.

2009 March 27, PolarBear, “I just need a place to rant”, in alt.support.stop-smoking (Usenet), retrieved 2022-07-21:

(slang, vulgar, derogatory, often humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person.


pissbiscuit

How are your pain levels after the testicle kebab, you pissbiscuit? Zero to ten?” When she wasn't dealing with compound fractures, Paige “Pissbiscuit” Lawson was the sort of person who put a fiver in a swear jar if she said “bugger” in public.

2017, Lucy Parker, Pretty Face, Carina Press, →ISBN:

(slang, vulgar, humorous) Term of abuse.


fuckmitten

In closing, you're a lazy fuckmitten.

2001 September 6, Jack Cake, “FAO Mackem”, in alt.games.champ-man (Usenet):

Adminning several CS servers also makes it very easy to spot cheaters (this wallhacker was a fuckmitten, not even trying to hide it).

2004 November 29, Lief, “Observed cheats in CS:Source so far.”, in alt.games.half-life.counterstrike (Usenet):

Howzabout tellin the TSA goon in charge of lookin' at shit on the ass-end of the conveyor to say something helpful like "DUDE, YOU FORGOT YOUR SHIT"? Or would that be too difficult for the TSA agents, given that all of the people in airports are apparently witless fuckmittens?

2008 July 9, huey.c...@gmail.com, “12,000 lost laptops”, in alt.fan.cecil-adams (Usenet):

(slang, vulgar, humorous) A term of abuse.


fuckmuffin

It is generally proper netiquette to quote the message that you are replying to, and so she wanted to tell you this. Instead of telling some idiot newbie, "Quote the fucking post, fuckmuffin!" she wanted to tell you politely BECAUSE your posts here had reflected a person who deserved better than that.

2000 June 7, Sara, “Panther Tattoo”, in rec.arts.bodyart (Usenet):

[…] the famblees who think that just because they have children, those of us who don't should bow down and worship the little fuckmuffins. Those are the ones who should have their tongues removed.

2002 October 21, Steve, “Short delurk, long rant”, in alt.support.childfree (Usenet):

you continuing to post here proves you don't really have any friends. You come here for Acceptance and love and then when no one buys your bullshit you spew your hate. I'm guessing the reason you have no friends in real life is because you act the same way you do here. you have all the Symptoms of a real misfit. How many of your "friends" have you wished death on when they disagreed with you, fuckmuffin?

2003 December 28, john, “Making a Full-Time Living Doing Stand-Up”, in alt.comedy.standup (Usenet):

Thats because yer a fuckmuffin retard, tell me, do you lurk on here 24/7?

2006 February 26, Billy Bob, “Is there a shrink in the house?”, in alt.sports.soccer.everton (Usenet):

Face it you stupid fuckmuffins, the Afghan Resistance has EVERY RIGHT to use IEDs against an occupying foreign military.

2007 August 28, Teasing the LOONS, “Canadians dying at three times the rate as our allies, Mr Harper”, in ont.politics (Usenet):

So... seriously... truly... however many years from now until you take your last breath, just know that simply by shoving off into the afterlife you are making the world a better place, you dumb fuckmuffin. Go fuck yourself.🖕

2020 July 23, “It is not that difficult to wear it!”, in Reddit, r/FuckYouKaren, archived from the original on 2023-12-28:

If she had responded with an unfunny 5 paragraph comeback calling him a "blithering fuckmuffin" and other insults redditors consider clever, the aggressive creep would undoubtedly have backed down

2021 August 13, u/oblmov, “OP got wrecked”, in Reddit, r/AmITheAngel, archived from the original on 2023-12-28:

(vulgar, humorous, slang) A term of abuse.


assbucket

(slang, vulgar, humorous) A worthless or objectionable person or thing.


douchewaffle

(vulgar, slang, humorous) An obnoxious or contemptible person.